you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
