wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
