my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
