ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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