if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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