weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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