I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
