Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
