yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
