dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
