she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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