I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
