You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
