So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
