Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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