I want to have your abortion
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
