I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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