I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i believe in u and ur pee
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
