i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
