After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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