taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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