I'm laying in your front yard are you home
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
