I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
