what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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