So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
