I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
