I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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