Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
