U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize