New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
