can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
