Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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