I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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