Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
