can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Randomize