Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
