is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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