He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
