A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize