i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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