we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
