Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
birth control should be required to get into college
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize