why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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