the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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