I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
