Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Sorry about my life...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
