I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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