At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
