He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
