i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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