Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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