Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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