he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
