So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
