What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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