Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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