Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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