Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Let's get the cat blown out
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize