The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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