Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
