I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
