when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
