Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
