He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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