hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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