You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize