I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well I just put wine in my tea
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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