Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
