meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
