You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
