ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize