In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
