Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
