Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
