i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
